Temptations Facing Dad in the Family

By Jeff May

            In his book, “Letters From Dad”, Greg Vaughn tells of his dad.  Greg’s dad loved to fish but seldom took him fishing and never really taught him how. 

            Some time after his dad’s death he came across on old tackle box containing the normal refuse of fishermen: worn out lures, dried salmon eggs, rubbery worms fused together, tangled line and rusty hooks.  He found nothing of much use.

            But then came the part that tore me up.  Listen up dads.  “I carried the box to a nearby garbage can and was preparing to toss it in when suddenly it occurred to me – this is all I had left of my father.  I began to weep.  For the life of me, I couldn’t have told you why.  It was just a rotting mess of useless worms and hooks, but somehow it represented my father – the same father who had never told me he loved me, never told me he was proud of me, never even hugged me.  The only thing I had left from my dad was an old tackle box and silence.  The tears suddenly turned to anger.  I was angry at my father, angry at myself, angry at God.  And I remember crying out to God, “This is it? This is all I get?  I don’t even have my father’s signature!” (Letters From Dad, Greg Vaughn, pg. 12)

            Well, what about it dad?  Are you doing your job?  God has charged us with the greatest job on the planet.  Listen to Him.  “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).  I have always wondered why God singled out fathers in that passage.  Maybe it’s because He was well aware that countless fathers would abandon their responsibility to train their children in godliness and many would abandon the home altogether. 

            Even a spiritual man can fail with his family.  Just ask, Samuel.  His sons did not walk in his ways (1 Sam. 8:3).  Where did he fail?  I don’t think we should accuse dead men who can’t speak for themselves but I wonder if he was gone too much (1 Sam. 7:15-17).  We must not be tempted to put our children on the backburner even while we are doing good things.  Don’t be like the dad whose little girl asked about his planner, wondering what it was.  He said, “It’s where I write down important people I have to see”.  To which she replied, “Daddy, am I in that book?”  Ouch!!

            Ask Eli.  He was Samuel’s mentor around the tabernacle but his own children were vile and he did not restrain them (1 Sam. 3:13).  Even his rebukes seem a little mild (1 Sam. 2:22-25).  Our children must be taught reverence for the Lord.

            Ask King David.  Remember his adultery with Bathsheba?  After being rebuked for it in Nathan’s heart-pricking story, David said such a man ought to pay “fourfold” (2 Samuel 12:1-13).  Boy did he ever!  He loses the son born to Bathsheba.  Another son, Amnon, rapes his sister Tamar.  Can you imagine David being very effective in teaching Amnon about sexual immorality?  Then another son Absalom murders Amnon.  Near the end of David’s life even Adonijah tries to take his father’s throne.  Of him it was said, “And his father had not rebuked him at any time” (1^st Kings 1:6).

            Good men, let us not fall down on the job.  Teach them God’s word.  Tell those Bible stories vividly and with excitement.  Let God be the atmosphere of the home (Dt. 6:6-7).  Show them the heavenly Father through their earthly father.  Let them see romanticism, love and faithfulness toward their mother (Eph. 5:25-33).  Cultivate Jesus to be their hero.  Encourage them to be like Him (2 Cor. 3:18).  When they fail, remind them that you too fail.  Help them to see that God’s grace is plentiful when they make mistakes (Rom. 5:20).  Don’t be so harsh with them that they become discouraged (Col. 3:21).  Remind them that we are all works in progress and it is progress God is looking for (1 Tim. 4:15).  Godliness is not developed overnight (2 Pet. 1:5-8).  Discipline them consistently and lovingly (Prov. 13:24).  Shepherd their souls.  When they have problems, see those times as a great opportunity to discuss God’s will and pray with them.  And when you make a mistake (and you will) ask their forgiveness.  Our children don’t need perfect parents, they need genuine parents.

            There will be times when you will wonder if you are getting the job done.  Most parents have those feelings at one time or another.  But I am convinced that your dedication will be well rewarded. You will be leaving a lot more for your kids than rusty old fishhooks.  You might instead rear up kids who in love for the souls of others become “fishers of men” (Mk. 1:17).